Eleven Things I would do if I was elected President of the United States
(Also known as eleven reasons why I will never be elected President of the United States)
I am not a politician. I am not a professional pundit. I am not registered to any political party. I do not think I can fix everything. I don’t think I am the final say in decisions about what is right and wrong. Nor do I think that my opinions would solve every ill the country suffers from. However, I do believe these few changes to the way our government operates could help our country regain its place as the greatest country in the world.
1. I would make all taxes even and based on a percentage of your income. If you make ten thousand dollars or six hundred billion dollars a year it will be eighteen percent. I would close all tax code loop holes and have no tax breaks for shipping American jobs overseas. The term “tax break” would evaporate from this nation’s vocabulary completely. This money would help fund social security as well as every other service currently covered by money being deducted from your check. No longer will you need to work from January to May just to pay the government. You can start keeping more of the money you worked so hard to earn. This could help elevate the need for filing income tax returns every year as you would not have any deductions or extra taxes to calculate. Let’s call it a real flat tax plan. Individual states can still impose a sales tax. But only if one day of the week is made tax free and in total the tax can be no higher than 5 percent. I would also impose regulations on all “fees” charged by companies to increase their bill average. Wouldn’t it be nice if when you got a phone or cable bill that you were just charged for the service and not for ten to fifteen other fees attached to it? Instead of calling them “connection fees” we should call them what they are, taxes. Now before you freak out and say this plan won’t generate enough capital please read on.
2. I would pass a universal healthcare bill that included every person in the country regardless of income, race, creed, medical history, marital status, hair color, smell, or whatever other reason you are currently be denied the healthcare you need. I would use France and Cuba’s healthcare system as a model and starting block. If you fear this idea, please see these innovative country’s systems to understand how this will help us all live healthy longer lives. This plan would cost you absolutely nothing to participate in. It would include mental and dental health as well. I would offer all employees longer vacations and full paid sick leave. New mothers could take up to one year off to raise their newborn. Then when returning to work, they would receive free child care. The childcare will have adequate staffing overseen by trained professionals who take pride in their work and have medical training to deal with sudden problems. Prescriptions would cost five dollars, no matter what the medication, dosage, or frequency of use. There would be no more being declined for anything, if you need treatment, you will receive it. Your life is decided by insurance companies who see you as a dollar sign. They’re in the business of making money and there is no money in making you healthy. Currently there is no money in finding a cure for a disease, only in fighting the symptoms. I would invest money in research and development of cures for all diseases and fund programs dedicated to that goal. In the never ending search for the next answer to human life, I would approve stem cell research as well.
3. I would fund a plan to send every person who wanted an education to school for free. There would be no more college loans and no more financial aid that no one qualifies for. I would bring back all the programs that have been cut in school budgets due to rising costs and frivolous spending. It’s time to take the people who do not think in the best interest of our children out of the equation. I would fully fund programs for the arts and encourage our youth to experience our rich culture. I would pay teachers a better wage and make the criteria for becoming a teacher more stringent. I would also offer bonuses to teachers who achieve greater results from their classrooms. Thus forcing teachers to be more accountable for student’s graduating to the next grade. No more letting money determine your child education. I will give teachers the tools they need to educate our young, but add limits to a teacher’s tenure. Tenure will no longer be a get out of jail free card for those who do not genuinely work to better their student’s lives. I would create jobs by offering classroom aids and shrinking the size of students per classroom. We can teach children to aspire to be more. I would also offer more common sense courses to help people learn about life in the real world such as:
Basic Reading in Everyday Life
Maps and Cultures of the World (Get to Know Your Neighbor)
You Too Can Learn To Operate a Motor Vehicle
Everyday Math (No really, it’s not that hard)
Truth in Media
Minding Your Own Business 101
Common Sense and How to Use It
4. I would work hard to devise an alternative fuel strategy. We need to get on track to be independent of all foreign bought oil by the end of my first term. May the solution be the electric car, hybrids, methane gas, hydro electric power, or bio-diesel we need to put our best and brightest minds to work. If we figured out how to make a ‘Segue’ move on it’s own I think we need to work a tad bit harder on coming up with a new plan. We have the ability to revolutionize the world as our forefathers did so many times before. We have to break our dependency on foreign oil and start putting our hard earned money back into our nation’s growth. And seriously, drilling in our wildlife preserves is not the answer we are looking for. Finding a new plan will help us deal with the growing dangers of global warming and hopefully reverse the effects that drilling and the burning of oil has brought on the Earth. We need to think of our children and grandchildren and their futures. There is a bigger global picture, and currently we are missing the mark.
5. I would prohibit lobbyists from giving any money or perk to members of our government. I would make all current elected officials give back every hand out they received from a lobbyist, within ninety days, or take your money and resign. We need to get the corporations out of our government. These lobbyists work for corporations and special interest groups. We have to stop allowing companies to rule our country. They do not think in our best interest. They think in their company’s best interest and the almighty dollar guides their decisions. We need to put the power back into the hands of the people. Make your elected officials represent you, and not whoever lines their pockets most graciously. I will then have an “IRS” styled team audit the government and everyone who has taken bail out money from the government and used it in untraceable or unethical ways. This would include lavish company parties and bonuses for CEO’s who ruin their companies. The banks that took billions of dollars of bail out money and now suddenly have nothing to show for it need to show this team where it all went.
6. I would place a ban on the use of high fructose corn syrup by the end of my terms (yes terms). Start by making companies add a corn syrup free product into their lines. Go back to the healthier way of creating a sugary sweet taste, sugar. We are allowing corporations to make us fat by putting indigestible chemicals into our bodies. Take a second to read the label on almost anything you buy in a can, jar, bottle, or box. I bet that a good amount of those items will list high fructose corn syrup as a major ingredient. I know we make a lot of corn. So we need to figure out other things to do with it. If you need an idea see number four above. We are the most out of shape nation in the world. Although lack of exercise plays a large part in the problem so does the amount of corn syrup in our products. There are currently programs paying farmers not to grow fruit and vegetables due to over production. Well that practice is over. We will produce as much as we can and export our extras it to those countries around the world that go hungry everyday. I will also work to provide strict regulations to crack down and control companies who limit production just to keep the consumers’ cost up by falsifying supply and demand numbers.
7. I would decriminalize marijuana and tax it to death. Marijuana is easy to cultivate and could become a booming new industry in the country. Let’s be honest about pot, it doesn’t hurt anyone. We could use it in place of all those anti-depressant medications constantly being shoved down our countries throat. It would add to the tax pool and help create even more jobs to bolster our economy. This would also help to destroy the Mexican gangs currently making our southern most border a blood bath. We can take the money away from the bad guys and then use it to help fund programs for our citizens. I would put an end to the “War on Drugs” and set free all non violent drug offenders thus cutting down on our prison population. This money could be turned into educational programs to help children understand the dangers of persistent drug use by using facts instead of propaganda and fear.
8. I would insist that we stay out of all other countries’ business unless we are asked nicely to intervene. If Iraq wants us out, then let’s get out. Why are we still fighting there right now? Do you believe it’s going to fall into chaos if we leave? We are not going to be there forever, and weather we are there two days or two hundred years, chaos will ensue. That’s because the land is not ours and we have no stake in it or the oil we went there to steal in the first place. We need to take care of our land and our people. Our opinion does not need to be that of the rest of the worlds. Will we need to be involved in some aspects of the world? Yes I do believe we will. For example a place like Darfur certainly needs our help. But that stems from the fact that they lack basic human rights. They have no clean drinking water and no active sewer system. So let’s start by helping them and all third world countries to get basic necessities they need. When we pick and choose what countries we want to help it breeds anger and resentment towards us. Such anger and hatred for each other is pushing us all to the brink of extinction.
9. I would give all current illegal aliens the opportunity to become citizens or ask them to leave within ninety days. If an illegal does not want to be a citizen he will not receive any health care or other social programs. Nor will any offspring born to them while illegal receive citizenship. If caught, said illegals will be deported and unable to ever attain a visa to return. Currently the number of illegal aliens who inhabit this county is massive and continues to grow. Some are of the criminal element and are circumventing many of our society’s laws. I would then close our borders and make that the responsibility of the armed forces to protect. We would update our immigration policy to allow foreigners a chance to become citizens after they meet an attainable set of guidelines. With the tax revenue that the millions of illegal aliens currently living in our country would provide we could create even more jobs to help protect our shores and citizens. All incoming shipments would have strict verification guidelines. Nothing gets into the country without being fully searched in some form or another. Americans would be able to see that joining the armed forces did not mean you were definitely going to fight a meaningless war. They would be staying home and protecting our country.
10. I would remove all religion from politics. Too many decisions are made by men who feel that God has spoken to them. Hello Mosses, God does not talk to you. Those are just voices inside your head. Some people would refer to that as split personalities. I on the other hand just call it crazy. When this belief is used in a decision that affects every American on a daily basis it is just wrong. Millions of citizens believe in millions of different things. Not everyone takes the stories in the bible as literally as some do. It certainly isn’t the word of God and you can not manipulate the stories to fit into whatever cause you are fighting against now. We are free to believe whatever we want to believe without the fear of religious persecution. Our founding fathers were smart enough to understand the importance of separating church and state. I will follow in their footsteps. I would legalize gay marriage and give all citizens the exact same rights that every American deserves. I would allow women the right to choose what they do with their bodies. It’s her body and she has the right to do with it as she pleases. I would also open the lines of communication in regards to assisted suicide. I for one do not want to live longer if it involves spending my final days hooked up to a machine while I lay in a pool of my own feces. It’s time to leave everyone alone that you do not agree with in one way or another. Overly religious people preach love but practice hate when it comes to something they don’t agree with.
11. Most of all, I would tell the truth and stop allowing the media to manipulate my message. I would say what I mean and mean what I say. I would make tough decisions daily and would know that I could never make every person happy. I will eliminate the White House press secretary and brief the press corps at the end of each day myself. If I was unable to be at the White House because I was out making the world a better place I would meet with them via satellite. I would answer every question with honesty and be as informative as possible. All questions asked must deal with national problems. No personal questions about me, my family, or people I know. I also will not talk about anything that could jeopardize our national security. I want the American people to know what is going on in their country and how their lives are affected by what I do on a daily basis. I would meet all calls of corruption and ignorance head on. I would demand every government official caught in a scandal to resign within ninety days. I would pass a law that stated any government official found guilty of corruption in a court of law would be removed from office immediately. New appointees would need to be voted in by the people, not appointed by someone already in the government. The people would decide who represents them. Also any political official too old to understand how to operate the internet would also have to resign (You’ve been voted out of office already, but I’m talking to you Ted Stevens)
I know some of you are going to say things like universal healthcare and free schooling is a form of socialism. Well here are some services we have that are already socialized:
The Post Office
For the most part these services run extremely efficiently wouldn’t you say?
If elected I would help this country regain its identity as a global trailblazer. I would make it my personal mission to better the lives of every citizen as well as the futures of our unborn citizens. America is at a crossroads. Do we take the easy and well traveled road or do we choose the left hand path and deal with possible adversity head on. These choices won’t be easy and yes sacrifices will have to be made. But as a people we need to wake up and realize that it really may be time to step back and see where we are. Our nation is in real trouble. The founding fathers would not be happy with what their country has become. It’s time to really reach down and pull ourselves up by our boot straps. With your help we can come out of this. I won’t be able to do it without your votes. So what do you say, you with me?