Spam Mail

After years of having an AOL email address I am finally growing up and riding myself of the American Online burden . My email addresses have become a haven for trash and junk and all kinds of shit that I don't care about.
So I decided to work my way away from AOL. Set up my @comcast email and started fresh. Within three days of having this new email address I already started to receive spam. Hot Stocks, Canadian Drugs, so and so wants me to confirm my email address to receive a free gift, and huge cock pills began to fill my email box.
My question is this. How do they get my email address?
I set up a secondary email account and started using that one. Figuring that maybe because it was my main identity with comcast maybe it was sold to 3rd parties. Whatever.
But nope. The new one has almost just as much junk email. And the worst part? I haven't used it. It's set up for nothing. I have been using the @chaosnj address and that has worked so far. Well so far until this morning. I had a hot stock tip.
Which leads me to my next question. Who actually takes these tips?
At this point although owning some stock would be a good thing, the price of gas has driven up my heating bill to near record cost. What does that mean? No extra income to say, invest in my future. Not that I would take this email stock tip in the 1st place. But I guess someone somewhere thinks that the hottest stock around (available only to insiders) just amazingly (due to some email fauxpau) dropped into their lap (only you and top level CEO's were informed). That is frikin' amazing. Bottom line? You are stupid.
I just want to sign online without worrying that someone wants all my personal information to run some crazy pyramid identity theft scheme. I don't want pop-ups for cialisI don't want to help a doctor in Rwanda with his financesI don't want to gamble at the hottest online casino out there. I don't need a cyber blow job (nor do I want one)I don't think that I have won something every time something says "click here, you're a winner"
At the end of the day I just want to read my email (please please please send me some, I am soooo rone-ree) and check out some news. Why do these people insist on bothering me? I want to see legislation that makes it a crime to spam just like its a crime to call someone on the do not call list. I want a do not spam list. Sign me the fuck up.